Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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