I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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