Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You can't motorboat a personality
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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