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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize