just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.