Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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