i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
