We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
