His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
