I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
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On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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