Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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