We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
