Im at strip club and am horny
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
