sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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