I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
