he thought i was a dude.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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