Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize