At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's never too late to be topless.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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