These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want her autograph on my taint
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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