She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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