i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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