Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
