I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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