He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
