Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just had sex on a roof
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
