Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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