There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize