Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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