For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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