So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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