Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
