I'm lost and stupid without you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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