as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
