Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
