The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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