Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize