to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
