I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
