i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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