You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
