WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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