I heard we made out
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
