i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize