Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
