Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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