Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
pray to the hookup gods
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
