your parents love me but you hate me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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