He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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