I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
