Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
