he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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