Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize