Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
