I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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