i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize