His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize