the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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