In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
