we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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