You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
