your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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