It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize