my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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